


Intoxication

by ceallachrion



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Crack, M/M, please don't take this seriously lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-26 15:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/967630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceallachrion/pseuds/ceallachrion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They say vanilla was considered a natural aphrodisiac. Kuroko had one too many of his favorite drink, and Akashi was not at all pleased.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intoxication

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted from Tumblr. A prompt by spainsloverromano about vanilla as an aphrodisiac.

Tetsuya was acting strange; Akashi knew it from the moment he saw him uncharacteristically hanging off of Kagami Taiga’s arm on what seemed to be their casual stroll in the park. The mere sight of it revolted Akashi, that he had no second thoughts to intervene and extract the phantom player from the taller redheaded teen, who was just as surprised to see him.

Tetsuya gracelessly stumbled onto Akashi’s side, to which the latter took the opportunity to whip Tetsuya's face towards himself and crash their lips together. Kagami sputtered at the shameless display of affection, blushing a ridiculous shade of red that rivalled the color of his hair.

Lips still firmly pressed onto Tetsuya’s own, Akashi watched the dazed, confused look in the other's heavily-lidded eyes. After marveling in the sight before him, crimson and gold hues instantly darted towards Kagami with a daring intensity, purposely threatening him to scram with his gaze alone.

So scram Kagami did, a triumphant smile gracing Akashi’s features when he finally broke the kiss, watching Kagami’s clumsy, retreating form as the idiot almost tripped on his own feet in his escape. Akashi silently reigned in his victory. That was, until Kuroko’s arms looped around his neck, abruptly tearing his attention away from Kagami and tugging him down for another collision of lips.

Although surprised by Tetsuya’s initiative, Akashi responded with just as much fervor. He snaked his arms around Tetsuya’s body for a closer embrace, forcing his tongue inside to map the small, inexperienced mouth until both of them were out of breath.

 _Vanilla_ , Akashi noted. A strong taste of vanilla coated his palate.

Tetsuya’s eyes were glazed as he took heavy, uneven breaths. Akashi cupped his face with both hands and pressed a kiss on adorable flushed cheeks.

"Did I not reprimand you from consuming artificially sweetened fast food beverages, Tetsuya?" he chided, but Tetsuya did not seem hear. The phantom player aimlessly stared, panting and blinking at odd intervals as if fighting drowsiness which was uncalled for. It was... as if he was drunk, and Akashi began to worry. His breath smelled of vanilla and milk, and Akashi briefly considered if it was possible to be intoxicated by the drink alone. Did Kagami have anything to do with this?

Upon careful examination, Akashi only realized then that Tetsuya was flushed from the neck up. Tetsuya’s skin was burning, he was mumbling more than he usually would, and the weight which he leaned on Akashi was growing heavier by the second.

"Akashi-kun…" With a little more force than intended, Tetsuya pushed Akashi backwards, making them both topple carelessly down on the bench behind.

"Tetsuya—" Words were silenced as Tetsuya so eagerly straddled Akashi’s hips, the weight that pressed down on his lap instantly had Akashi’s senses reacting in more places than one. While he enjoyed the attention, they were still at a public place, and although he did not have the heart to push Tetsuya off, he knew something wasn’t right. "…Tetsuya, what are you doing?"

Tetsuya exhaled a shaky breath, leaning in to pepper kisses on the side of Akashi’s neck. A shiver. “Akashi-kun…” His breath was hot on attentive ears, and he sensually ground his hips once, twice. “Akashi-kun… I-I feel hot…”

 

 

A jolt.

 

Crimson and gold eyes snapped open, only to see Koutarou’s painfully cheerful face gawking at him from a fraction’s distance. The blond was peering over the edge of the desk with an expectant look, and Akashi reflexively retracted backwards from the proximity. The sudden movement made his head spin.

"He’s awake!" Kotarou chirped a little too loudly as he bounced back on his feet. “Morning! Well, not really morning anymore, but you know what I mean!”

Akashi hunched forward again and leaned his elbow on the table, one hand threading through messy red hair.

As it seemed, he had fallen asleep on his seat, which explained the strain on his arms from which his head was previously resting on. With a a sigh, he let his gaze sweep lazily across the classsroom, realizing that the area was empty when he confirmed that only he and three of his teammates who had formed a half-circle around him were occupying the room.

He groaned and rounded his neck, massaging his temples to soothe an incoming headache. “What are you all doing here?”

"You left this at the gym and we’ve been looking for you ever since," Eikichi explained, placing an identical white and blue Rakuzan duffel bag on the desk. "You don’t look so good, Captain. You okay?"

Reo smiled and cooed, “Ah, it’s rare to see Sei-chan so dazed and defenseless. We must have woken you from a nice dream.”

Akashi stilled. He didn’t even bother to give Reo the worst death glare of his life, and instead reached for his cellphone in the bag, his thumb swiftly scrolling through the contacts. He pressed the phone to his ear when his desired number was dialed. The other line picked up on the third ring.

_"Akashi-kun?"_

"From now on, you are banned from drinking vanilla shakes," Akashi interjected before Tetsuya could get another word in; he could care less for formalities. "Also, I will see to it that Maji Burger, that pathetic excuse for a fast food chain, goes out of business for serving repulsive beverages in guise of a flavored milk drink.”

He hung up without so much as a goodbye and rose to his feet, tossing the phone back in the bag then slinging it over his shoulder in one clean swoop.

The three uncrowned generals could only stare in confusion as their captain wordlessly left the room. No one dared to question Akashi about that phone call afterwards, not that they would ever live to tell the tale.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> forgive me pls don't take this seriously


End file.
